This article is a great one in understanding why it’s important to get your Whooping Cough vaccine if your going to be close to infants and small children. On top of the safety for infants and children it’s seriously damaging to adults as well.
I am not Pro-Vaccine or Anit-Vaccine.mi think each one comes with its own pros and cons and each family has the right to choose what’s best for them. However, when it comes to putting others at risk because your not vaccinated, yet you don’t let others know and come into contact with their children I think that’s selfish. Be forthcoming and let the family know where you stand and that you will not be vaccinating yourself or your kids, but know that that means some hard decisions may need to be made.
Today I got into an argument with my brother because he said he didn’t have the money for it,msg I said I’d pay. Then it was that he has been around babies lately and no one else told him he needed to be vaccinated, I said that’s their choice. Then it was that he didn’t want to put “stuff like that” in his body (does drugs, is an alcoholic and is addicted to pain meds). Ultimately I told him we’ve decided to not allow anyone without the vaccination to visit the babies until after they are three months and had their own vaccines. Long story short he was pissed and stopped the conversation.
This made me question who else feels these things who is close to us. I will respect their decision but I expect ours to be respected as well. So I posted on Facebook
Those who responded to it were,methane goodness, respectful and in favor of our decision…so far. Yet I’m very worried about the confrontations we will face with this decision from close family and friends. I’m already finding out many close to us don’t believe in it and they will be in our lives all the time. How do you manage that situation without breaking ties or hurting feelings?
What did you and your family decided?
how are you going about telling people who are in contact with your children if you’ve decided the same as us? Have you had backlash for it also?
Ladylove & Babydust 
We did the same and had no issues. We live in a low compliant state so it was even more important.
I’m allergic to tdap, so baby G has ZERO pertussis antibodies from me. We made it a hard and fast rule, no tdap- no visits. no one argued, but there are still people who haven’t met her yet as a result. It’s just so, SO important.
We did the same. One family we are close to hadn’t had their three year old vaccinated yet so he wasn’t allowed around Dar until he got it. We had no problem with family – too many scientists and health care professionals – but the town where we live has had a pertussis outbreak every year for the last five years. I’m not interested in taking that kind of chance.
We asked all our friends with kids if they were up to date on dtap and mmr, which are the biggest concerns in our area. We told everyone that they would not be welcome to come visit until Darwin was old enough to be vaccinated. I had a few snarky comments made but most people were understanding. It wasn’t worth the increased risk on my mind.
Now I’m curious about who made the comments…
Chief and I have ours and my folks and close family got them since they’re around Charlie a lot. Others I didn’t worry about because they’re not near her much. I got the TDAP when I was in my third tri, and I’m breastfeeding, so she should be getting a lot of protection from me. It’s totally you’re decision and I think you’re doing great.
We didn’t ask anyone to get it, although there is a scary commercial on about it every 10 min. I got the TDAP and breastfeeding so he’s getting some protection. But he’s been out and about in the world since 2 weeks and I can’t get everyone vaccinated so i didn’t make any rules about family. I wouldn’t let him near anyone coughing though. But your piece of mind is the most important thing so if it makes you feel safer, one less thing to worry about and that’s important. Because there are a million things to worry about!
This post and your others on IG and FB hit a chord with me because I feel so strongly the same protectiveness over Dumplin’. I’m super conflicted because my MIL’s friend is throwing us a baby shower AFTER he’s here, which is fine, but since the winters get kinda crazy around here, they want it when he’s like one month old. That means, a whole lot of old ladies (60-75 years old), who definitely haven’t been keeping up with their vaccinations, kissing him and holding him. UGH. I asked if we could have the shower later- like when he’s 4 months, but my MIL seemed against the idea. I expressed my concerns over his health, but she brushed it off and kind of ignored me. Now I’m wondering how den mother I need to get on her ass to protect my kid lol. DW thinks I’m being overprotective because Dumplin’ will be leaving the house and interacting with an environment populated by people in the general public, so he’ll get exposed that way anyway, and I plan to breastfeed and am current on all of my vaccines so he should get some passive immunity…. I dunno. Tough call. I see both sides, but these babies of ours are so precious, and were so difficult to get to this point with. Good on you and Kate for advocating for your babies’ safety.
I would have a fit if my MIL brushed that aside. You’ll get her vaccinated at 6 weeks I assume so why not wait until then? Also if you haven’t had your TDap you still have to get yours by the third tri to spead immunity to her. I’m suddenly forgetting if dumplin is a boy or girl 😔
Dumplin’s a boy, but thanks for the info!
Damn I knew I was wrong
Lol. I don’t mind 🙂 so many babies to keep track of these days!
The first 2 months are no joke. Peanut turned a month old in the hospital on oxygen because grandpa unknowingly brought RSV to visit when 2-3 weeks old. It got scary for a bit. I was breastfeeding too but she still got sick. Waiting for those first shots helps. You’re the parent and your job is to protect that baby. If that means pissing off family so be it. But that’s my take. Good luck!
Thanks!
Thanks for your story. I was arguing with my wife about this the other night because she thinks it would be rude of us to ask my MIL’s friend to move the baby shower to later, but I’m just not willing to compromise with his health. In Ontario, first shots are at 2 months: DTap-IPV-Hib. Is that the same in the States?
6 weeks here
Same vaccines?
These: http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/vaccination-schedule-what-to-expect
Yes same here but we also have polio and rota.
Have you found a pediatrician yet? They will tell you the same thing. Ours said to treat ger lije a bubble child because she has no immune system.
We don’t have much of a vaccine debate here in the UK, or certainly not as much as the U.S but I’d totally be in the same court as you.
There’s a video going round FB at the moment showing a baby with whooping cough. It’s awful. Without going into a debate, that alone shows me why it’s important to vaccine or at least make sure people around the babies are vaccinated.
I’ve gotten my TDAP booster on schedule (every 10 years) as an adult and my insurance paid for it. It’s $53 at walgreens, even if you have the worst insurance every (I believe under ACA it’s preventative and should be covered — http://obamacarefacts.com/obamacare-preventive-care/).
Whooping cough isn’t a joke and it making a comeback. Also, who doesn’t want to not have to worry about tetanus? It seems like a no brainer to me, but then again, I’m very pro-vaccine.
Yes I agree
I think that’s a good approach if you have family or friends who might not want to get the vaccine. That way you can respect their choice while also keeping your family safe. They can’t exactly have their cake and eat it too (a phrase I will never understand, btw).
We asked our parents to get vaccinated since we knew they’d be spending a lot of time around Gus when he was a newborn. Everyone in my family vaccinates though, so I didn’t really worry about cousins, little kids, etc since I knew they wouldn’t visit as often.
I think you’re very smart to do that. I had never really thought about the vaccine until I had a premie starting at my daycare a couple years ago and the parents asked me to get a whooping cough and flu shot. Both of which I had never had before. I didn’t hesitate and I paid for it myself because why would I want to put that tiny baby at risk. Good for you guys and I hope everyone respects your wishes and doesn’t give you a lot of crap for it!
Good choice mamas! If they don’t like it, they don’t see baby. Period. Dot end of story.
I absolutely respect your decision. I suspect we will be doing something very similar with our family members who refuse to be vaccinated. And yet we will have to be on multiple airplanes before our child will have any vaccines, I’m already slightly anxious over it…
Oooh yeah that’s a whole other issue, airplanes. Maybe you could get a baby mask to put on them in the air.
I think your decision is perfectly reasonable. Your #1 priority must be the well-being of your little ones, and you have to do what you feel is right.
I would recommend making sure that your family is aware that the whooping cough vaccine is part of the TDAP vaccine, which a doctor may just call a Tetanus shot. I didn’t even realize that Goose and I had both already received the vaccine recently, because our doctors only mentioned tetanus when we got them, and had no idea it included other things. You may have family members already vaccinated without even knowing it.
Yes, my wife brought that to my attention
I’m also worried about a post-baby shower. I’m hoping to wait til he’s past the 6 week mark to do it. I think all of our patents are up to date but I will confirm. It upsets me that people don’t see why there’s importance behind this. I feel like I need to make a list of potential people now… Hahaha that’s the planner in me.
It’s best to do it sooner than later, I should have said something earlier.
Btw there’s a huge difference between being out and about in a car seat and being touched by a lot of people. DW will feel horrible if the baby ends up in the hospital because she didn’t take it seriously.
My wife is just as serious about it as me for sure
Sorry I meant for the other mamas. 🙂
You should read my password protected post. It’s about this topic and my family has pretty much caused a nervous breakdown with me.
Oh, email me ladyloveandbabydust@gmail.com
We asked our families to get vaccinated and they did with minimal balking. We put something out on FB too. Our close friends who came over more in the beginning got shots, but I didn’t care as much about people who stopped by once for an hour. We really didn’t leave the house much before he got his first round of shots at 8 weeks. We were overwhelmed, tired, and scared lol.
I’m struggling with my brother not seeing them (he’s a flake and may not show anyway)! He’s not going to be around hardly at all but I’m upset he doesn’t see the importance.
It’s so hard with family. My sister in law has epilepsy and she was anxious that the vaccine would trigger a seizure. She said she got the vaccine, but my spouse is still skeptical. I asked my spouse what her advice would be to you guys (a little background: my spouse has anxiety and medical things is her biggest trigger). She said to just tell your brother why it’s important to you and that you are asking people who haven’t had the shots not to come around the first 8 weeks before the babies are vaccinated. My OB calmed my worries some when she said as long they aren’t frequent visitors. Or if you don’t let unvaccinated people hold the babies. Good luck!
That’s what I did tell him. He’s a very unreasonable person so it didn’t help. But I don’t care cause it’s really not a big deal even if he and other have to wait until their first shots.
Yeah, that’s all you can do. After you set your boundaries, it’s on them not you. Maybe it will be for the best, you don’t need anyone being selfish and unreasonable around you and your babies those first couple weeks. You’ll be busy soaking in the love from your little squishes!
True story
South Africa is super pro-vaccine and if It’s a huge thing in hospitals and clinics to have babies up to date on vaccines. It’s really awful to see how much the kids with pertussis struggle when they are admitted to hospital… Good choice ladies!
Thanks! CA is super anti-vac these days and it’s hard cause there’s only so much you can do. However I feel confident in our decision. Thank you
Our OB told us that the best thing you can do is get the Tdap vaccine between your 27th and 36th week of pregnancy. Since you pass your antibodies on to your baby, this is the BEST CHANCE at protecting them against whooping cough. We have loads of kids in my family, so we asked that the kids didn’t come around the babies for the first couple of weeks, but otherwise, everyone else was ok. We didn’t feel the need to make sure that everyone was vaccinated because we weren’t having any house guests, and we asked that no one stay more than “a hospital visit” (equivalent to less than an hour). Our boys are just getting sick for the first time this week, and it’s just Levi, but he’s doing pretty alright. It sucks that your brother is being difficult, and I hope that he loves his niece and nephew enough to do the right thing…
Thanks for your input. We just got our Tdaps two weeks ago, I only feel more pressure to do it because of the outbreak in CA and in our own county. Kate works in the medical file and has already seen 3 people this year with it.
Oh yeah, I forget you guys Are in Cali. Too many uniformed people out there (no offense to any of my Cali friends, but just a lot of “vaccination”stuff in the news from Cali”. Yeah, then I could totally see why it’s so important for you guys. NY just isn’t one of those states. Your kids can’t even get into Daycare without all of their up to date vaccines. Band public school?! Forget it!! When I was in high school I was missing a Hep shot and my nurse called me I to her office and I had to sit in there all day Until my mom picked me up and I couldn’t come back until I had the vaccine! So I knew that most of my younger cousins were vaccinated otherwise they wouldn’t be in school…
Before getting pregnant I was fairly against vaccines, but having a medically educated wife and her being in the field all the time it changed my views a lot. Now I feel more strongly about vaccines and the measles outbreak at Disney Land last year REALLY freaked me out. Funny how beaming a parent, even before their here, can change you.