Twin mommas question?

how long did it take for you to sleep train your twins? How old were they and what method did you use?

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24 thoughts on “Twin mommas question?

  1. We were blessed by God! Never had to sleep train. They started sleeping through the night at 2 months old. Their last feeding would be at 11 pm and they would sleep till 7 am. Mind you…they are formula fed. Now, just recently since we started introducing food, we feed them dinner and upped the bedtime bottle to about 7 ounces and they have been sleeping from about 9 pm till 7 (with pretty much only 1 wake up at about 5 am) because they lost a pacifier or rolled themselves in a corner. Love my girls!

  2. I’m sorry you’re still having sleep issues. It’s absolutely miserable when you’re in the thick of it but so worth it once everyone is FINALLY getting some sleep. No one wants to do it, almost everyone I know resorts to it as a final straw, so don’t beat yourself up because it wasn’t what you wanted to do. Parenting is complicated and ever changing, you have to do what it takes to survive.
    There’s actually an active discussion about CIO with twins on a Parents of Multiples forum I read that you may want to check out: http://www.thencomesfamily.com/community/thread/94085
    That said, we only had to sleep train one of our twins, our son, when he was 5.5 M old after far too many nights of epic meltdowns and one particularly bad night that caused us to throw in the towel and raise the white flag of defeat. We did a modified CIO: usual bedtime routine (rocked to drowsy but not asleep and then laid down), let cry for 5 min, came in and soothed from outside crib (shushed, rubbed back, butt pats, relaid down, assured him he was ok, told him it was time for bed and then left the room, he was still crying but less so), left and waited 10 min the next time, repeat above and reset timer for 15 min. He was out before the timer hit 20 min one additional time. The next night we did 10 min increments and he was out before 20 min again. We did not have to do a third night as he fussed himself out before 5 min. He still has rough nights here and there but we no longer intervene because he typically fusses himself out in 5-10 min max. Occasionally he’ll have a really rough night, usually when mastering a new skill, and we’ll have to put him in a PNP in our spare bedroom so he doesn’t disrupt his sister and one of us will just lay in that room with him until he tires himself out. During those times we keep the lights out but the window uncovered so there’s ambient light for us and him to see and who ever is in there lays on the bed without interacting and he has never fussed longer than 20 minutes. This is what worked for us; it was difficult and not how I wanted to have to parent at all but we had no choice when all other attempts were futile. We also were very lucky that it was only one twin and not both, you have my sincerest condolences that you are dealing with this with both. Sending all the “go the f*ck to sleep” vibes your way!!!!

  3. Hi fellow twin momma! Virtual fist bump &/or hug, whatever you prefer. 🙂 I don’t know if my girls are good comparison, being identical twins (because they tend to be on the same rhythm), but my girls started sleeping through the night around 2.5 months. For us, this looks like 8:30-9pm through 5am (most nights, sometimes they’d wake up for one or two additional feedings at first), then right back down after a feeding until 7:30-8:30am. The only thing we did to sleep train them from day one was to turn off all the lights right at 8pm and just use very dim lamp or night light and use very soft voices or whispers after 8 to create a very clear distinction between night and day. Otherwise, we just followed their lead while encouraging them to sleep. We did this from the first day home from the hospital, but then around 2.5 months, we moved them to their nursery and started a little more structured bedtime routine. After a bath, pjs, bottle, a couple books, we’d rock them on our chests with a blanket sort of bunched up near their face or slightly covering the back of their heads until they started to doze off, then we’d lay them down in their cribs and rub their backs/pat their behinds until they were asleep. If a baby was stirring and even making some noises, but not crying, we’d let them work it out to see if they’d go back to sleep on their own before stepping in their nursery. We put them in separate cribs, right next to each other, but have a bluetooth speaker with white noise right between their cribs to help buffer their noises. Hope that makes sense. Anytime we have overnight guests using the room/bathroom beside their room, they don’t sleep as well. I’ve recently decided to ban overnight guests altogether. Come visit for a few hours and go home or get a hotel. Sorry, babies’ sleep is most important. 🙂

  4. I think people also need to keep in mind and tell you if they’re babies are formula fed bc those babies really do tend to sleep better then breastfed babies. Do you follow the Milk Meg on Facebook? If not, check her out. She also does consults with breastfeeding momma’s. She’s not CIO but may help make you feel less hopeless and helpless.
    My fraternals are now 12m. We’ve introduced cows milk and next week when I go back to work things will change again. Mine still have good nights and completely freaking awful ones. It seems when the Viking puts them down without me there, things go smoother. I’m not a sleep expert and some days I don’t even feel like an expert in my twins. But I think a few things are good for everyone: fresh air daily, routines (not set schedules bc breastfeeding twins needs to have some flexibility), and a daily dose of whatever makes you happy. Maybe that’s some delish cookies, 5 minutes to pee by yourself, etc.
    so no real answers from me but know that you’re not crazy or super different. You’re normal and this shit is just hard some days. Hang in there twin momma sister 💙💜

  5. I think you’re doing a lot of things right! One additional thing we did that worked for us was a slow night wean. With the okay of our pediatrician (actually, with her encouragement), at five months we started night weaning. So: night one you wake and feed when needed, paying attention to how much they eat at each feeding. Next night, decrease the amount you offer by 1/2 ounce. Decrease by 1/2 ounce each night until they start skipping feeds (and sleep through them). Some caveats: at first this seemed like it’d be too hard so we did wake #1, drink all you want, subsequent wakes, decrease. It worked great at first, but once we got to only one night waking, a few weeks later we regressed and had to do CIO with subsequent wakings. Which would be fine except then babe gets confused about why bottles appear sometimes and why they don’t other times. So I’d say aim for NO night wakings. At 7 months they are developmentally capable of sleeping through the night without a bottle (though they may not be happy about it, though the gradual wean was really successful for me… When I got down to an ounce per feeding the wakings just stopped). Might be worth trying! It also helped me to make sure I disassociated bottles with sleep in general – so no feeding within 10 minutes of falling asleep or waking up from naps, too. Good luck and hugs!!!

    • I’m one of those moms that just doesn’t mind feeding them at night a few times, however that may change soon if the wakings continue. Right now they only wake when they are hungry every 3-4 hours since we started the sleep training.

      • I’m one of those moms too – I cried at the idea of giving up those nighttime snuggly feedings! But my ped convinced me that sleep was more important than food (assuming healthy growing babes). In our case, it was true – but you WILL eventually find the magic bullet that works for you!

      • I second consulting your ped about dropping overnight feedings at this age. At our six month appt our ped said that as long as they are growing on their curves and eating solids there was no need for overnight feedings. If they’re waking roughly every 3-4 hours out of habit and not necessity for feedings that might be a good first step towards better sleep since they’re running on a continuous internal cycle of 3-4 hours instead of differentiating that night time means sleeping, not being awake and eating. It obviously won’t help the initial getting to sleep but it’ll teach them they don’t need to wake up every 3-4 hours because the boob bar is closed between the hours of ____ and ____. (Times to be determined by you) I dropped our overnight feeds between six and seven months by pushing them off their “scheduled”/usual over night feeding by an hour and then kept pushing it each time they slept past it and never woke them up for one again. It took about two weeks, but they now sleep 7 PM to 6/6:30 AM with their bedtime feeding at 6:30 PM and next feeding is not until 7 AM. They’ve been on this schedule since they were seven months. (Now nine months)

      • For whatever reason I just don’t feel like I should drop their nighttime feedings. They eat solids but not a ton yet and my girl is not eating well right now anyway cause she’s teething. I don’t think they’re quite ready yet. They don’t regularly wake every 3-4 hours either they do go longer times between night feedings.

      • Gotcha, just thought it might be a contributer to your sleep issues but definitely do what makes you feel comfortable. You might still want to consult your ped about it, if nothing more than to preemptively create a plan for the future.

  6. I’m so so sorry I haven’t replied to your last post yet which you know due to texting earlier today. I got a new phone and couldn’t login to word press for a few days and work is insane. I wish the process was working better for you guys. I’d be interested to see how long it took other twin families.

      • Solids did not help for either of my children. Looking at your notes, it does not seem like they wake the other one up when crying, which seems like a good sign. If every time one woke up crying, they woke the other one up, then I think the twin thing would be a bigger factor. Many families have kids room share and still have success sleep training (US!) For us, consistency was key. My son did not pick up to it right away. It took several weeks. Also, it always feels like something is happening to cause regression (teeth, growth spurt, shots, sick, leap month.) Just still with it and they will turn the corner. I thought all hope was lost for our son after 8 months of terrible sleep and trying everything. He now sleeps 11 hours straight most nights, after several LONG weeks of training.

  7. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice because I think you’re doing everything right. I know it’s so hard, and all I can do is hope that somehow the stars align, your babies aren’t in a leap, and one day soon they work this out on their own. I know that doesn’t really help, but just know that we are thinking of you and sending lots of good sleep vibes to D and E.

  8. 6 months old, I trained my girls. Took 3 nights of CIO – extinction and then they were awesome sleepers. I started with Ferber method and went in and tried soothing them, but quickly realized that made it much worse and they cried even harder if they saw me.

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