Yesterday I had my MFM appointment and today my OB appointment. For once at the MFM we got some not so great news, although the it’s nothing too serious. Emerie has twice the fluid that Daiton has and it needs to be monitored weekly until their birth. No one has told me why it’s not good or what it could mean/cause and I forgot to ask. Yet, no one seems too concerned either.
As of yesterday Emerie is up to 5lbs 9oz and Daiton is up to 6lbs 13oz. They still have an 18% discordance which is fine I’m told. My OB said that their weights, if true at birth, mean that they will go home with us when we are discharged even if I had them now! So great to hear of course. Although I know nothing is set in stone until their out and everything checks out then. Also, I was checked today and still no dilation but she said I’m soft. Whatever that means. I’m not taking stock in anything like that cause I know it really doesn’t matter.
My blood pressure was high for the very first time ever today at my OB appointment, but at the end of the appointment it had gone back down. So my doctor wants me to come in to see her again tomorrow morning to have it rechecked and also do an NST. If my blood pressure is up again we will schedule a Csection for next week at 37 weeks. If it’s fine we are scheduling a Csection for August 27th at 38 weeks. Of course if I go into labor before then we will talk about vaginal vs. Csection when I get to the hospital and know who my doctors will be and also how Emerie is positioned.
My doctor does not think Emerie will be moving from her very comfy transverse position at any point now. I also think she will stay where she is at this point and I’m just assuming I’ll have a Csection, if I don’t and it ends up being a vaginal then I’ll be happy camper also. Either way I just want them out and safe at this point. My views have changed oh so much during this pregnancy it amazes me.
Emotionally and physically, I’m am a wreck. It probably doesn’t seem like it to most people but I’m keeping my cool around others. In private with myself I want to cry and scream and punch things. I’m mad a lot, sad frequently and frustrated is a nice way of summing up my days. My body is hurting like I’ve never known before and it gets worse daily. No one in my life can understand me emotionally or physically so I just don’t bother explaining anymore. I’m tired of the “your almost there”, “it won’t be long now”, ” focus on the babies” and yadda yadda everyone spews out. I want to literally tell everyone to just shut the fuck up. Stop trying to make me feel better, or better yet pretend I’m not pregnant and let’s not talk about it at all. Just leave me be until I have these babies.