34 weeks (Can I be done now?)

How far along: 34 weeks. 3 weeks or less to go! (Countdown to 37 weeks)


Total weight gain so far:
42lbs to date. 


How big are babies:
Between 5-6lbs and 17in approximately.


Boobies
: 34DD up from a 32D prepregnancy. They are very sore, but no real leaking yet.

Maternity wear: Yes. If it’s not maternity it’s Kate’s boy clothes to lounge around the house in. I have next to nothing that fits to go out of the house in, even panties are too small.


Stretch marks:
A few around my old belly button piercing. I’m sure more are on the way with how big I’m getting.

Belly button In/Out: Out and flattening again. 

Wedding ring Off/On: Off πŸ˜”

Most current symptoms: 

  • Pelvic pain
  • Carpal tunnel
  • Abdominal pain
  • Chest pain/rib pain
  • Severe swelling in my legs and feet
  • Indigestion/Heartburn
  • Headaches
  • Exhaustion
  • Loose bowls
  • Peeing more frequently
  • Congestion/boody nose
  • Bloody gums/sensitive gums and teeth
  • Sore vulva 
  • Nausea
  • “Sparkles” in vision /blurry vision
  • Anxiety with BH contractions

Sleep: I am now in pain while laying down on either side and a million pillows don’t help much. When I wake up to go pee, getting up and out of bed is a serious challenge both physically and mentally, it’s exhausting and sometimes down right painful. Waking up in the morning is the WORST because I’m still dead tired no matter how much sleep I got and my belly is usually rock solid and hurts to the point of crying.

Miss anything: 

  • Peeing and popping like normal
  • Bending over!!
  • Not being swollen
  • Comfortable sleep
  • Being able to accomplish a task without help 

Movement: Slowing down a lot now. Their movements are slow so I can tell they are squished. No matter what they do their movements hurt me. I can’t do kick counts ’cause I don’t know who it who.

Food cravings: This changes a lot. My cravings have been more definite the third trimester but they don’t last long. 


Here is what I’ve been wanting lately:

  • Fruit all the time
  • Almond Milk
  • Kind bars/ausie bites
  • Anything sparkling/carbonated
  • Bread items
  • Gravy
  • Smoothies
  • Popsicles 

Babies Sexes: Boy and Girl. πŸ’™πŸ’—πŸ‘« So excited and happy. Names: Daiton Paul Joseph and Emerie Anne Renee!


Labor signs:
Braxton Hicks which are just practice contractions for real labor. The BH are now very random and happen more regularly at night and while sitting in the car. The tightness is now spreading over my belly and less just on one side. They last 1-2 minutes and cause my anxiety to go crazy.

Loose stools, pelvic pressure and pain, nesting intensity, emotional changes(PMS-like) and a general sense of “doom” aka labor stating soon lol. Imreally hoping they are here between now and 36 weeks.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody πŸ˜„πŸ˜πŸ˜•πŸ˜’πŸ˜΄ peoples nonsense and ill timed comments are really getting to me. When Kate doesn’t properly express herself or gets short with me I feel like I’ll either cry or get angry. I’m putting on a smile as best I can but I don’t want to.

Best moment this week: Didnt have one.

Worst moment this week: An emotionally taxing day where I couldn’t possibly have felt worse emotionally and physically. 

Looking forward to: Holding these babies sooner than later! Please god sooner.πŸ‘ΆπŸ½πŸ‘ΆπŸ½

Purchases for the babies: Kates work thew her a baby shower and the gifts/gift cards and gifts/gift cards from you sweet people purchased the last of our must haves. Just a stroller now needed.

Things people say:

“Good luck” (sarcastic tone)!”I have two close in age and I thank god everyday I don’t have twins”, “I’m excited for you but I pity you” said by my dentist after finding out I’m having twins.

“I wish I had a wife” when referring to both of us breastfeeding. This is not an OK comment, it sounds sexist and silly.

Looking their ultrasound pictures, “they look like little black babies”, “You better hope their not too dark” (this was not said in a racist manner). Lucky for me this came from a family member so I was able to tell him not to say things like that to me.

After telling someone we struggled to get pregnant “Oh we are going to get pregnant in October, I can plan it like that cause it happens so easy for us” I wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and have some compassion.

“No offense but your HUGE!” Offense taken.

“Hey fatty fatty” This is never appropriate to say to anyone ever, especially when pregnant. 

“So a boy and a girl… how cool, are they identical?” This one blows my mind. 

“So you guys want four kids?” Assuming Kate will have twins too, very popular statement.

“Are they both from the same dad/donor?” Huh? Seriously!

“When is your baby due?” “My babies are due in August”……..blank stare for a few minutes….

“Is your wife happy your having twins?”…..no she’s actually divorcing me.

“So will your wife have twins too?” If it’s in the cards, but why is this an assumption?

“Did you put two babies in there on purpose?” We didn’t put anything in there and twins are not plannable. This is where people assume you have to have IVF if your a lesbo, no in between in their minds I guess.

   33+4 weeks new nursing gown
 Finally got their clothes up and more folded and put away in their dresser.   33+6 weeks swollen tootsies in compression stockings…ew!

 The most comfortable position I can muster.

 I took this wondering what this angle looked like. Surprised that I don’t look bigger.

—————————————————————————————————————–

Today’s OB appointment

As per the usual, it went well, and I should be happy about it but I’m feeling deflated. For the last few days I’ve been having mild cramping in my low abdomen and low back along with stronger Braxton Hicks when they come on. My moodiness is escalating with my patience level as well. Because of these things I felt that labor was on its way. 

No dice.

I had her check my cervix and I’m closed shut,mini dials tin and no effacement. I know that at this point both those things mean little to nothing but I would have liked to know something…anything was happening in there. 

Emerie is transverse with her head on my left again and Daiton is still head down. After discussing my birth options today with my OB I came to realize that having him head down means nothing if she isn’t too. If at 36 weeks she is not head down we will be planning on a Csection. Kate, myself and my doctor do not feel it will be in my best interest, or the babies, to try a vaginal birth with Emerie not head down because I’ll likely need a Csection after he is out anyway and it could become an emergency Csection which no one wants.

I should mention my OB is not a Csection pusher or an alarmist AT ALL. She is actually quite calm and extremely down to earth. Her opinions I take seriously and she is always up to discuss they “why’s” and “how’s” with me. She herself has had twins and today she told me about her labor and delivery. 

So basically if I go into labor and find my contractions are regular for one hour I am to go into L&D and check the position on both babies, if she’s still not head down we get scheduled for a Csection, if she is head down I stay until their born. They will only send me home if I am barely dilated at all otherwise I have to labor in the hospital. That part sucks but I’m rolling with the punches.

At home labor prep

I have been having Kate rub my feet nightly with some essential oil blend I made that’s supposed to help you get ready for labor (all the herbs are safe once in the third trimester). I have also been doing a lot of ball bouncing and swaying along with getting on all fours and rocking my hips and doing circles. Every couple days a do mild labor acupressure points too. I’m being proactive in helping my body prepare to go into labor without actually doing full at home induction methods. 

Oh, I am now taking Evening Promrose Oil daily and inserting one in my vagina near my cervix nightly to help efface the cervix. EPO is great for effacement but it will not dilate you! Even if it doesn’t do anything EPO is great for many female issues and skin problems so it’s good for me anyway.

How am I?

Truth be told…..I am down right miserable. I cannot sugar coat anything. I know it could be worse and that many of you twin mommies and singleton mommies have had rougher pregnancies than me, but all I know is my own experience and right now it blows.

About a week ago the tides changed big time. Everything on me is in pain or significantly sore. My stomach is so stretched out that it’s tight all the time and feels like the feeling you get the next day after someone punches your arm really hard. Each movement the make makes it worse. Sometimes I beg them to stop it hurts so bad.

My lower back feels like it’s going to break from the pressure and my siatic spasms and gets shooting pains all the time. My hips are widening and I can feel it on the days it’s stretching. Not a fun feeling at all. Yet Daiton is not engaged at all and this blows my mind cause of all the pressure I feel.

It scares me. I’m actually frightened of the pain I’m going to continue to feel get worse over the next few weeks if they don’t come soon. How do our bodies not just max out and boot these little buggers out. Mine are way bigger than most twins born between 36-38 weeks (if their estimates are correct). At this rate I’m going to have two very normal full term babies, probably 7-9lbs each. I’m thankful their healthy but I’m not a big person.

Thanks for listening to my pathetic pregnant rant. I assure you more in the posts to come as my doctors assured me it will only get worse, way way worse. Awesome.

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43 thoughts on “34 weeks (Can I be done now?)

  1. Not a rant at all. You are just telling it like it is. You do look gorgeous in the belly pics. So much baby!! And your poor feet!!
    I’m thinking of you often. Lots of good vibes are flowing your way, mama!

  2. I’m sorry you are struggling so much right now. I cannot relate, but I do understand that carrying twins this late into a pregnancy is hard work both physically and mentally. You are doing great, and try to remember that it will be worth everything once you get to meet those two little babies! πŸ™‚

      • You are allowed to complain – no smart and honest person has ever said that pregnancy is easy! And I have never heard someone say that twin pregnancies are easy. πŸ™‚
        Also, just because I complained about someone’s insensitivity on my blog today doesn’t for a second mean that I don’t like people who complain. I get it. And, there is a big difference between her and you – you aren’t complaining to be mean to others.

  3. You should read the blog little rainbow bug just posted about the end of pregnancy. Beautiful post! You still look stunning πŸ™‚ almost there mama

  4. Aw, sorry you feel so rough. It’s good to let it out and be honest with what you’re feeling, though. No need to be stoic, it’s a pretty big deal, this pregnancy thing. And you’re so close to the finish line! Though it must be hard not knowing precisely where the finishing line is. Thinking of you and hoping the next weeks go as well as possible!

    • Me too. I went back on your blog today and was reading about Callie’s last two weeks and their birth. It was reassuring to hear how she was in comparison to myself because we are both small women. I hope our babies come at 35 weeks like yours for lol

  5. You should never apologize for going the safe route for delivery for your babies. I’m sorry it’s so physically miserable. Only two weeks until you’re 36!

  6. I can only imagine how hard this is – I didn’t have to go much further than this with 1 and I was D.O.N.E. I am sending you so very much comfort and peace and goodness, and many hopes that Emerie turns and you have a great vaginal birth (and solidarity if you end up with a C!!) ❀

    • Thanks love, means a lot coming from you. I know how hard you worked to have A vaginally and how sad you were when it didn’t happen. I think that’s why I’m really preparing myself now for a C. Watching so many of you strong women have to have them has taught me a lot.

  7. I’m happy for your very healthy babies, they’re doing awesome. I’m sorry and so sympathetic towards your discomfort. The pictures of your belly are gorgeous. Waiting is so so hard. Do whatever you can to find comfort and peace, and allow yourself to be a mess too. I think your plan about c-birth is great. I can’t wait to see those little faces!

  8. I actually love reading your posts– I appreciate that you tell it like it is, and don’t try to pretend that it’s all sunshine and rainbows. Is it worth it? Of course! But that doesn’t mean you don’t get to have your experience. And how are you supposed to get support if you don’t get to talk about it! Rant on, Mama!

  9. OMG! I read 34 weeks and it JUST hit me HOW SOON they will be here! I can’t believe we are almost fully cooked! Can you post or link to the essential oil blend you have been using? I know you probably don’t feel like it but our hypnobirthing instructor really stressed how orgasms can actually help bring on labour. I hope that everything you have been doing is helping. Can’t wait for their arrival!

    • I’ve been masturbating as best I can as often as possible to bring on orgasms. That’s the hard part for me, the O, since being pregnant it’s very hard to get off. I will email you some links to sites I’ve been using to find info on essential oils. I just mixed them all together at a 1:1 ratio and added some random ones I like the smell of. Clary Sage is the big guns of all the oils though and you shouldn’t use it full strength until 34 weeks or more.

  10. Sending you big hugs, I remember that agony all too well, so we’ll that I still do not miss being pregnant one bit. That said, I’m sorry you’re so miserable and I hope they are evicted sooner than later and healthy as can be!

  11. You are a trooper Alicia. Looking at how big your belly is, and how swollen your feet are, I can tell that you’re feeling every bit awful and probably more than you’re even writing about. Them babies are BIGGUNs! Do what you can to stay comfortable (easier said than done I’m sure), and just know that you are a tough chick and you will get through whatever L&D situation that you find yourself in. Only 3 more weeks! I hope it flies by for you Hun. Hugs to you!

  12. Awww I commented on your other pictures first and said ‘uncomfortable’ and now I could kick myself because obviously, you’re beyond uncomfortable. It sounds like you’re doing all you can. I’m hoping the babies come soon. When I was pregnant with twins most of the stuff I read said twins were a lot smaller at 34-36 weeks than your babies so I know it’s painful but it’s also a testament to how strong and determined you are. I wish I could send you a good nights sleep. Hugs.

    • Thank you and don’t kick yourself, you understood with a picture before even reading my update, that shows a lot of empathy. I always thought I’d have two tiny babies like all the other mommas a I know with twins, especially cause both our donor and my side of the family are not large people at all. Go figure I’d get big babies lol it’s a blessing really though cause it means they will likely be more healthy and developed at birth. It gives me the hope that they come early and still have no NICU time….but that probably just a fantasy.

  13. I know you’re pain and you are a rockstar!! I had mine at 34w5d and I don’t think I could physically or mentally last another day. I know it won’t make you feel better but you really do forget about how awful these last weeks are and you’ll have a new set of ailments to worry about! Sending you strength to get through the last few weeks! Keep cooking those babies!

      • I was on bed rest for 2 weeks prior to having them because of preeclampsia. I was scheduled at 35 weeks for a c section because baby boy stopped growing but baby girl broke my water at 34w6d!! I got my stretch marks 3 days before having them! So mad!!! πŸ˜„

      • That’s right I remember now. Mine won’t stop growing, I keep hoping they will schedule a Csection around 35/37 cause my boy is so big, but I doubt it. I just got done stretch marks around my belly button recently, I think my skin is at its max

  14. I’m really sorry to hear how physically and emotionally difficult it’s been. I want to say you’re nearly there but I guess a few weeks of being so uncomfortable would feel like a long time. Sounds like you’re doing everything you can to prepare for the arrival of the little ones. Take care x

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