Written by a fellow blogger I couldn’t resist reposting her blog post and sharing my points to it as well.
From most annoying to least.
1. Telling me I need/should get an epidural based on their experience. I’m glad it was helpful to you and you feel confident in your past choice, however have you asked me why I don’t want one? Probably not and if you did I’m sure it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. Let me make my own choices as you did once it’s not respectful to try to lead me to a decision I’m not comfortable with by fear tactics and stories.
2. That we will never sleep again. Read what my fellow blog friend wrote, it sums it up quite well.
3. That we will need more help than we could ever imagine. I’m sure we will need a lot of help, but the constant reminder feels more like a scare tactic than a well meaning comment. Plus it always comes from people assuming how terribly hard parenting twins “could” be and ever from other twin parents.
3. To soak in my boredom now. Every time I say how bored I am and how I can’t wait for the babies to get her I am bombarded by preppie telling me to enjoy it. To love being alone cause you will hate not being bored ever again. I worked hard to have these babies and have wanted them my whole life, I’m bored because I’m ready to spend the rest of my life NOT being bored and soaking in the love and challenges of parenting them. These well meaning people make kids sound horrible and like they never wanted them and it bothers me.
4. Telling me “but your having twins” after every complaint or comment about my pregnancy concerns. Saying this every time I say anything about my swollen feet, swollen belly, heartburn or size. Let alone just speaking of my pregnancy generally. It makes me feel like my ailments aren’t valid or that somehow I don’t/can’t understand why I feeling the way I am.
5. The comment “I wish I had a wife” in reference to Kate wanting to breastfeed the babies or anything she does for me. I’m sorry your husband sucked at his job of taking care of you during pregnancy or your newborn babies, but saying that you wish you had a wife sounds ignorant. It makes my marriage sound like a “choice” or in someway more “fun” than a “real” marriage. All these terms have been used over and over with us and I’m tired of it. Can you stop seeing us as just a female partnership and instead assume that our marriage and relationship is more similar to your hetero one than you’d think?! Cause guess what, it is.
I understand that all these comments are not coming from an unloving place but the thoughtlessness behind them is frustrating and sometimes just hurtful. It would be really nice if everyone could think a bit more before they talk.
This post was inspired by a group of wonderful women that I met through an online ttc and pregnancy support site. I’ve been thinking of writing this for awhile, but was battling with the idea until I decided today to go for it. There are certain things that a pregnant woman does not want to hear. While you may mean well, we are about to push a tiny human being out of our bodies, and don’t really need to hear some very specific things……especially from the grocery store clerk, the old lady at the barber or the random person walking around.
First up is how much labor and delivery hurts. I’m sorry if you experienced a painful labor, but no one really knows how an individual is going to respond to the pain of labor. I for one have a pretty high pain tolerance thanks in large part to an…
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